(Lyrics by Phillip A. Laudin)
I wonder what it was about you that made me hit myself in the head when you didn’t call.
I wonder what it was about you that made my stomach nauseous when I waited for you to call.
I wonder what it was about you that made me want to inhale more smoke when you’re not around.
And what the hell was it about you that peaked my anxiety when I thought of you.
I wish I knew.
I really need another outlet to my thoughts other than my hand moving side to side and up and down on a piece of paper.
Talking to myself only works some of the time.
I really think I need to talk now through this with someone who possibly wants to talk to me.
I didn’t know if it was her, but for some fuckin’ reason or another,
My anxiety level boiled to the point where I didn’t wanna fuckin’ see you any more sometimes.
The only fact I knew, you were there to listen to the words that needed to come out of my mouth.
Or maybe it was the look of her brow when she was talking to me.
You shared the same issues on a different scale of crazy, of course.
I wish I knew.
Time will tell, but for now I’ll just puke some more.
So I was right about you.
There’s a reason for everything and all I was feeling.
All the answers to my own questions finally come to surface.
I found Bliss, it’s the most amazing thing.
She’s a mirror image of all the parts of me that needed to be related to the most.
The beauty of Bliss shines down like an optimist’s will to live.
Seems too good to be true, which is why I prepared myself for the worst…